What Message Are We Sending Our Kids?

In mid-December a call went out from Dallas ISD’s Dade Middle School to men across the city. The school was hosting an event entitled “Breakfast With Dads”, but school officials and event organizers were concerned there may not be enough dads for every student to have a male father figure in attendance, and so they put out a call to the public. The result made national news. The school was looking for 50 men to attend, and nearly 600 showed up to mentor and encourage the students at Dade.

It was this event that I kept thinking about over the past few weeks as a similar call went out in my north Oak Cliff neighborhood. The Rosemont Early Childhood PTA (RECPTA), a ninety year-old organization for neighborhood parents of infants and preschool aged children, put out the call for auction items for their annual fundraiser. The organization has been a significant benefactor for a local elementary school in the neighborhood for years, and the auction has been the primary source of the funds raised.

But there was something different this year. Several members of the RECPTA board of directors suggested that the organization allow other area elementary schools the chance to apply for a portion of the more than $30,000 historically raised.

But this is why I can’t stop thinking about the people who showed up for Dade Middle School. Since word has spread that RECPTA might (pending a vote of the members in May) allow other neighborhood elementary schools to also apply for grants, longtime supporters and donors to the annual auction have withdrawn their support. As one longtime resident of the neighborhood and frequent donor expressed at a recent RECPTA meeting, “If my donation might go to other schools, I would really have to rethink it”. She has since pulled the pool party she and her husband traditionally offer in the auction.

So why will 600 men show up to support kids at a school that many of them have no connection to, and yet neighbors will pull their longtime support for a local organization simply because the funding might benefit “other” kids?

One commitment to kids will warm your heart. And makes national news. The other… leaves me feeling cold.

Dallas ISD has significant need. The district has one of the highest percentages of economically disadvantaged students of any of the largest school districts in the country — 90% of Dallas ISD students qualify for free or reduced price lunch.

And that need is significant at Rosemont Elementary, as it is at schools like Reagan Elementary, Winnetka Elementary, Hogg Elementary, Kahn Elementary and Lida Hooe Elementary.

The voices that have opposed opening up the RECPTA donations to benefit more kids have said that those schools need to start their own ‘early childhood PTAs’ — effectively saying, take care of your own kids, we’re taking care of ours.

But that isn’t how this is supposed to work. We’re giving in to our worst instincts when we tribally cut ourselves off from others, and when we look at the world as a place of scarcity instead of a place of abundance.

The reality is that the Rosemont Elementary feeder pattern includes the vast majority of the RECPTA parents, and that feeder pattern was strategically drawn to include as many higher income homes in North Oak Cliff as physically possible.

As a result, the surrounding elementary schools in the neighborhood are made up of far more economically disadvantaged households. Households that often have parents working multiple jobs to make ends meet, have parents who lack the privilege or agency to fundraise or donate pool parties or hamburger cookouts. And households who don’t have the time or the cultural tradition to join an early childhood PTA for daytime baby playgroups or evening board meetings.

I know that the majority of people I know in this wonderful neighborhood I call home are troubled by the impact of the gentrification that we created, and are interested in helping all students at surrounding schools, regardless of whether their kids will go to those schools, or regardless of whether they even have kids. But it is still so disheartening that a small but extremely vocal group of parents and neighbors will act from a place of fear and seek to advantage a select group of kids as opposed to working together to insure more for all of our kids in the neighborhood.

When the 600 men showed up to Dade Middle School in December, they sent a powerful message to the students of Dade. Sadly, neighbors who try to restrict funding of neighborhood elementary schools send an equally powerful message.

Let’s hope that the rest of us can fill the gap and demonstrate our values in our support of all kids. I believe the future of our neighborhood depends on it.